FEMINISM—HAVE NO PAROCHIAL APPROACH

--A P ANAND

          Our country is distraught for many reasons. One of them is the disparity and discrimination of genders. This is a social evil of the society which is not only bleeding us but is also a heavy blockade in our progress. The daily happenings like sex exploitation and disparity are soul shaking. Press reports say that in India and China there is a profound devaluation of female life. One can argue that patriarchy, in broad sense, is of subjugation of women. A balanced gender ratio is a “public good” that governments overlook at their peril. A strong or aggressive male pride coming from the time immemorial is another reason for the rot. The male is always described as a superior or dominating gender. The sex hungry are reported for sex scandals day and night making life miserable. God has created man and woman for procreation and not for insulting/ exploiting her modesty, smashing, smothering or battering.

          A female is a mother, a sister, wife, a daughter or a daughter-in-law etc. It is also proved beyond doubt that women do better than men in many fields. It is the male dominance which has, always, demeaned or belittled the woman. Unfortunately, a woman is considered as a sex symbol. Due to male clout even in the court language there is no place for a woman as we always use or address the male gender like he/ his/ him etc. Manu Smriti (a Hindu Law book) had also discriminated woman and castes/ religions and occupation etc. due to man’s clout which was, probably, the need of those times.

          The female and male are incomplete in life without a sacred bondage. Some vices like seduction are foist (unwelcome) and are root causes of our disturbed life. The imbalances are like a cancer which will slowly and surely kill us. Ours is a worst type of dehumanization race and pervert perception of social norms. It is a felony (serious crime) of prejudices. We always blame women of their faults but are we not equally responsible for their shortcomings? Nowadays the innocent neglected girls take more and proper care of their parents/ elders than the boys. The boys veer around their elders in greed to usurp their property. These girls help and work hard in the fields and to fetch drinking water from far off sources for the family. Right from birth till death the female is considered as a weaker gender and is kept under the cover or protection of some male member. In olden days even the young brother and sister were not allowed to remain together for fear of losing modesty. This was/ is happening even now in upper echelons of society.

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          It is reported in press that the birth and death ratio in developed countries is decreasing and there is high fertility in ‘third world’ which is the backdrop of the evil. The highly educated women are losing interest in motherhood due to which their life is not glorious and enjoyable. This causes gender inequality. The sex ratio in India is 927 girls against 1000 boys. In a city like Mumbai where literacy is 89%, there are 832 girls against 1000 boys. The condition is worst in the states of Haryana and Punjab. To avoid birth of girl child people go for abortion of the fetus of pregnant mother after sex determination test which is a crime for killing a ‘jiv’ (life). Some take abortion pills to achieve this goal. This way they also wish to avoid dowry and wedding expenses. Unfortunately, this view and act of gender mismatch is deeply embedded in our culture which has many other connected ramifications.

          It is strange that in some temples in India, which are the houses of God, the ladies are not allowed to enter the sanctum sanctorum. These are Shani Shingnapore in Maharashtra and Lord Ayyappa temple at Shabri Malai situated at Pumba river in Kerala state, probably their being in ovulation period for them. In Lord Jagannath temple at Puri in Odisha state none other than Hindus can enter. In the same way the Hindu and Muslim females cannot go to the cremation ground at the death of someone. Even in the prayer halls or in places of spiritual congregations the ladies have separate enclosures, probably, not to detract the attention of males or to avoid any untoward situation.

          Even in employment and for securing enough seats in Parliament there is a demand for fixing quota for the ladies but in the male dominated society it is always discouraged in the fear of losing jobs/ seats to the creamy layer of females. There is also disparity in wages earned by these genders. It is also reported that male police is mistreating, misbehaving or is callous, especially, towards females. Thus there is a dire need to recruit female police to do their duty properly and in decent/ perfect way wherever women are involved.

          The females face a lot of unfairness and cruelty in respect of their marriage. At the time of marriage, the couple takes solemn oath that they will remain united till death under all circumstances. Soon on marriage the girl adopts even surname/caste of her husband. Unfortunately, the cracks in their marital accord start appearing as the couple or their family members do not take precautions beforehand about couple’s compatibility. Later on they

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suffer, especially the female, to get divorce. When, certain addictions of the groom are detected in time, the spirited brides dump them even while performing rites of marriage. In

 such a scenario the couple suffers/ writhes in excruciating pain of despair and their desires and wishes turn into droplets of tears streaming down their faces. It also causes horripilation of anguish in their bodies. Now the un-natural culture of gay marriages and live-in relations has started which will badly affect the society. Probably, there is a genetic trend against the females. If someone is already having only female children in the family, hardly any boy will come forward to marry them due to the fear of begetting girls only as a genetic trend.

          Some wise people use their intellect in selecting their life partner or a friend. Someone asked Majnu (of Punjab), how is it that he had selected Laila as his beloved while there was a lot of mismatch amongst both of them. He was fair in complexion while she was dark? Sharp came the reply from him,“Beauty is to admire and appreciate but not to lower its sanctity/ grace. I have chosen her not for her outer beauty and outer looks but for her inner striking features, impressive insight and pure love.” Even in Muslim marriages, the consent of both (bride and groom) is taken by using/ uttering the bi-partisan word “Manzoor” (Accepted/ Agreed) but unfortunately, the divorce takes place just by uttering the word “Talaak” (divorce) three times which is an irony of oral divorce and marital discord.

          The females are exploited even at the death of someone when for mourning they are hired as professionals (called “Rudalis”) for ululating. What a folly!

          Have we forgotten the platonic love and importance of mother who used to sing soothing, sweet, pleasant and delightful ditty or lullaby when we were still toddlers and used to play fondly in her lap? Should the pranks of Sri Krishna with Sri Radha and gopis be branded as carnalities or pure spiritual love?

          Nowadays the knots of marriage are tied even in the foreign countries for leading a so called glorious life, without looking at the other partner or his/ her family members or inquiring into compatibility details. Some people neglect or don’t give preference for marriage in the same community or amongst known families. The modern life style and food habits (junk food)

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lead to/ attribute to early puberty and sexual urge and thus there is a burden of children at very young age of marriage. We view striptease/ pornography acts in films/ on TV or the girls

wearing look-through/ peek through/ slit or skimpy clothes which incite the opposite sex to satiate their sex hunger. Besides, we start pampering the male child by fulfilling his every need, even limitless and beyond our capacity, due to our old views and emotions for his becoming the family- head and thus neglect the girl child. Many times due to our poverty and demand of heavy dowry for the girl child, at the time of her marriage, we neglect her or kill her fetus which is a tragedy and causes disparity in sex ratio. There is also inequality in the salaries of males and females. If the couple, for some reasons, lives apart and there is hardly any communication amongst them, not only their children are neglected for love and warmth but also many un-necessary doubts creep in their lives. In case, for some reasons, the couple has reached irretrievable situation in their married life, the court takes protracted time to reach settlement even on filing a mutual consent decree for divorce.                                                         

             The ills said above have resulted in the hate crime against women and general violence. As per press report dated May 20, 2013 even in so called peaceful city of Mumbai the crimes against women have increased by 100 % as against last year, sexual crimes by 151 % and molestation by 181 %. Where are we heading to? Only police, the custodian of our safety has the answer and the society is equally responsible. Bonded labour and being subservient of someone is the result of illiteracy. The selfish society wants to take undue advantage of female ignorance/ illiteracy to keep/ treat them as captors. The words and deeds of such persons are not compatible. The sexual hunger of the people has increased the cases of sodomy, gay marriage, bisexuals, heterosexuals, lesbians, raping of girls (even child girls), own daughters and daughters-in-law and treating them as maid-servants, sex with animals (bestiality and zoophilia), brides being burnt, raped and tortured instead of receiving respect, warmth and affection. The widows are mistreated and misbehaved. The young girls elope with someone to satiate their sexual urge.

          Many above said problems can be sorted out if we take precautionary steps in the beginning stage of the growing children and there is qualitative upbringing. They have to be goaded and reared in no-nonsense atmosphere. To achieve this goal, the parents should themselves be disciplined, straight forward and should preserve healthy atmosphere at home. Not only India but also the world has produced many luminaries and stalwart ladies/ gents who

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have upheld their culture and tradition at all cost and we must emulate them. In fact we are trapped in the maze constructed by ourselves.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           When due to your sincere efforts, the “sanskaras” (nurturing) of your children flourish/ bring fruits, name and fame, you feel as if the stars are twinkling bright in the horizon before your very eyes. Female education is must to remove ignorance of self, to guide the children and to strengthen their ‘sanskaras’ in the formative years. This includes chiseling of character, discipline, values of life and imbibing of morals and ethics. People from orthodox sects have also stressed this need of education. It is also observed that many uneducated or less educated have excelled in many fields of life due to their strong, healthy and productive family background. Unfortunately, co-education is still a taboo in our country which if properly handled can remove our many imbalances of life. Besides, code of conduct by the parents and proper injunctions by the preceptors will remove many miseries like insolence (rude and disrespectful behavior). If we eradicate and tighten our noose against inequality, violence, child marriage, ignorance and human trafficking from the society it will improve our life.

          The answer to control all sorts of violence and diabolic urges lies with us only. We should control ourselves instead of others and not to be agitated at trivial issues. It is necessary to control our heart, mind and vision. Is it not true that earlier the ‘Rishis’ (sages) used to marry and controlled their sense organs so that they did not stray away of their chosen path? Maharishi (exalted sage), Attre, was married to a sanctified lady, Ansuia, who laid her life on the pyre of her husband as “Satti”. To keep the genie of sex in the bottle we should frame stringent measures and rules for the perpetrators. Castration of perpetrators of heinous and shameful crimes is the best answer. Unless we set an example of punishment, they are not going to learn lesson. Saints are the life force of the society. They can bring radical changes in people through discourses and advice and mold them to righteousness. For safe and healthy child birth, the health volunteers, midwives, nurses and doctors in sufficient number are required.

          Today we see moral bankruptcy. Our life’s risotto will remain incomplete, half baked, bland and ruffled unless we give a dash of spirituality to make it more tasty. The chilled cool spray of spirituality and understanding to our life also snubs the rising rages of sexual urges and helps in our transformation. It subdues the emotional fire. One becomes an embodiment of love and experience. Lord, also, helps His ardent devotees without discrimination of genders. Please remember, how He came to the rescue of Daropadi when her modesty was being

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outraged in the court of Kauravas and the ‘sari’/ costume draped by her became ad infinitum and nothing untoward happened. Please light up your heart and mind with His divine light.

          Let us not misuse our vital energy but use it selflessly for the uplift of society in true spirits. If the present crippling situation is not checked in time, it will lead to uncertainty, chaos, lawlessness and despondency. Let this wall of disparity in genders crumble down. Let the females and children not become rudderless and we should not berate them. There is a need to change and overhaul the outlook of feminine gender in entirety. It is shame on the part of those who are cruel towards women and degrade them. The true lovers of mother say, “ O Ma, you look more beautiful than even God!” It is hoped that today’s uneven views in our heart and mind against girls/ women will fade away soon and turn to reality of love, faith and respect.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A P ANAND
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